


At The Market

by quetzalzotz



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dwalin Is A Softie, F/M, First Time, Imagine based, Mentions of Rape, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, coping with past abuse, domestic life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quetzalzotz/pseuds/quetzalzotz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You encounter someone from your past in the market, and it shakes you up for the whole day. It's time to come clean to Dwalin about your trauma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the imagine “Imagine telling Dwalin about a horrible event in your past and all he does is pull you into his strong arms and tell you that everything will be all right.” from imaginexhobbit.tumblr.com. This does mention rape, but nothing explicit for chapter 1. I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes. I do not have a beta reader at this time, so feel free to point anything out!

The book was limp in your hands, and though you were reading it, you didn’t comprehend it. Your mind was a million miles away. You didn’t even hear Dwalin come in.

You had been together for a few months, but only recently taken the plunge to living together. He had a beautiful suite in Erebor, helping rebuild the Kingdom to its former glory. Thorin, pleased that his best friend had found love, gave you both a huge home. “Fill it with children,” he begged. “Have a family.”

And you wanted to. You really did. You loved Dwalin with all your heart, despite the fact you were a human and much younger. Even though you had been living together for a couple weeks, you had yet to be intimate. He was so patient, ever the gentleman, and never pushed you or begged you or made you feel like you were failing him. But you felt guilty, something twisted inside you when you would say “not tonight,” over and over.

“Lass?”

You snapped to attention, startled.

"Lost in a book again?" he smiled, kissing your cheek with his soft lips and prickly beard. "Did ye have a good day?" he moved to the bedroom, and you could hear the rustling as he changed into more comfortable clothes. You peeked at him, all muscle and tattoos, and you wanted nothing more than you curl up in his arms. 

You felt that guilt pool in your stomach again. You hadn't told him that you had seen someone from your past at the market that morning and that you've been just hanging on ever since. You were afraid to tell him, just like you were afraid to tell him why you couldn't be intimate with him. It was obvious that Dwalin didn't care about traditions, since you were living together without getting married. You still worried that in this case, they had been right all along and you were unlovable and tainted. Damaged. He had experienced so much in his life that he deserved to be with someone else, someone who wasn't afraid. 

"I went to the market," you said in a quiet voice. "I made soup." You gasped; you had forgotten to start the stock. "No, no, fuck, I didn't. I got home and forgot all about it." Your voice quivered, tears threatening to fall. Dwalin rushed out, kissing the top of your head.

"Go," he murmured, the tenderness calming you. "Draw a bath. I'll throw everything in a roasting pan. Soak for a little, Lass."

You gave him a weak smile. How did you get so lucky? How was he so good to you? 

You had just dipped your hair in the water when you saw him leaning in the door frame, a smile hidden under his thick moustache. "Yeh truly are a beauty."

You flushed pink, pulling your knees up to your chest. 

"Did something happen down at the market today?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the tub. 

You wanted to answer. You wanted to tell him. You couldn't keep doing this to him. You could see the worry and hurt in his eyes. You wanted to make it better. His concern for you was obvious.

"Let's have dinner first." You mumbled. "I just want to spend time with you."

He nodded, but the look apprehension never quite left his face. 

"I love you..." 

He leaned over to kiss you. "I love you too."

You enjoyed evenings with Dwalin. The quiet, domestic routine after the dishes were done. But tonight didn't involve sweet cuddles. He sat perched on the coffee table across from you, leaning forward as anxiety crossed his face. 

"I saw my father at the market." You whispered. You had never told Dwalin anything about your family, other than your mother had died about a year ago, and your father worked in finances. "He didn't see me though."

He watched you, patient as always, never pushing for more. You took a deep breath. 

"I'm jealous of your family. You and your brother are so close, and he treats me like a sister already. And your parents sounded like such delightful people, I would have loved to meet them. I never thought families could be like that."

"Didn't yeh have a pleasant childhood, Lass?"

You shook your head. "Well... I was lucky that my family had money. I had everything I asked for; toys, books, all of it." You couldn't meet his eye. You knew that it sounded wonderful that you always had a roof, a full pantry, and all the things you could want. A dragon hadn't destroyed your home.

He reached out, taking your hand in his. You lifted your gaze to meet his, tears running down your cheeks. 

"My father was neglectful, which is probably why my mother could do what she did." 

He took your cheek in his rough hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb. 

"I was told that I couldn’t tell a soul about this. That people would tell me I was unlovable, broken, damaged." You sobbed, choking on the emotions running through your body. "My mother raped me."

It felt like the world stopped, and all you could hear was the pounding of your heart. 

You saw tears prickling in his eyes. "I'm sorry" you muttered. 

"Lass...“ he pulled you into his arms, crushing your head into his chest. He was warm and safe, and you cried into his shirt. 

"I'm sorry," you croaked out again. 

"No, don’t apologize because ye did nothing wrong. Everything will be alright now. Yer safe here, I've got you."


	2. Being Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin has a surprise for you, and you in turn have one for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes, as I do not have a beta reader at this time. Feel free to point any out!

Over the days, you told Dwalin more about what your mother had put you through. You had been no more than seven or eight when it began, and it stopped when you were about ten. But that abuse had left its mark on you. The only thing that had ever been inside of you was what she forced in, and until Dwalin, you had never wanted to be close to anyone. 

You would lay awake at night, listening to his rhythmic snores and wonder if you’d ever be able to feel him inside of you, to erase the memory of your rape. 

He had taken you out to a beautiful restaurant; Dwalin was proud of you for making so much progress in healing. You were bashful, thinking you still had a long way to go to be proud of yourself. He treated you to the finest wine, the best food, and a delicious dessert so sugary you could only handle a few bites. Dwalin’s sweet tooth made quick work of the cake. 

Walking home you were arm in arm, albeit awkwardly with the height difference 

“I had a wonderful time,” you muttered, looking up at the stars peeking through the clouds. 

“Aye,” he agreed, following your gaze heavenwards. “A beautiful night with a beautiful Lass.”

You blushed, smiling.

“I’ve got something else for ye,” he muttered. You heard something different about his strong voice: a slight tremor. He fished for something through his pockets as you came to stand in front of him. You felt confused.

“Lass, I want to spend my life with ye. I want to marry ye.”

You stood there, stunned, stuttering. “M-Marry you?” 

“Aye.”

“But…we might never have children or even…”

He cut you off, “I don’t care about that. I just want to wake up with ye in my arms every morning, and I want to fall asleep next to ye.” He presented you with a beautiful white gold ring with diamonds. Beside it was a matching clip for a braid in his beard. “Please,” he begged.

“Yes,” you said without hesitation, tears of joy running down your face. “I will marry you. I love you.”

He embraced you, squeezing you tight in his arms, kissing you with passion. Your hand shook as he placed the ring on your finger, and your whole body trembled when you braided. 

“I’ll speak to Thorin about the formal arrangements tomorrow,” He said, taking your hand again as you walked home. “Assuming he doesn’t procrastinate, we’ll be husband and wife before the month is out.”

You chuckled, joy radiating through your body.

Once again, Dwalin lay snoring beside you, chest moving in and out with his deep breaths. You lay awake. You were happy to become his wife, but an upset still lingered. He was willing to forego every pleasure of the marriage bed. He was content never to sink his cock into you. All of these sacrifices made for you. No one had ever treated you like that before. And now, more than ever, you wanted to give him the things you never thought you could. 

You curled up against his side, resting your head on his shoulder. With the lightest touch, you traced his dark tattoos along his chest, partially hidden under the fur. He started to stir from sleep though you weren’t paying much attention. The low lamplight flickered against the gold rings through his nipples. You ran your fingers over them too.

“A man can’t sleep with ye doin’ that,” his voice was rough, still groggy as he woke up. He slipped his arm around you. 

“I can’t sleep,” you muttered.

“How about a late-night bath, that’ll relax ye.”

“I don’t want that.”

He turned his head to look at you, a gentle smile on his lips. “What do ye want? Name anything.”

You weren’t even sure how to ask for this, how to say you wanted him to make love to you. But that you had no idea if you’d be able to follow through with your desire. You had no idea what would happen; you could cry, you could scream and fight, or you could enjoy it. 

You pulled away from his grasp, just enough to shimmy out of your nightgown and toss it to the hamper across the room. 

He gasped, feeling your skin against his. “Lass, ye don’t have to do this.”

“This is what I want,” you kissed his shoulder. “But I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know how I’ll feel a minute from now or an hour from now.”

He cupped your face in his hand. “I promise, I will never hurt ye. The moment ye want me to stop, I will.”

You kissed him with a savage passion, love flowing from your lips. Your hand was back on his chest, toying with his piercings. You felt sparks run through your body, nerves starting to come alive as his tongue swept over your lips. You accepted him without hesitation, allowing his tongue to explore. The handful of times you had kissed before could never compare to this. You felt all of his love, his desire for you. 

His hand fell to your breast, squeezing it. Your back arched, never expecting just his hand on you could provide such pleasure. You used to flinch when people touched you, tensing in a panic. But you melted against him, craving more of his touches. 

He pressed to you, encouraging you to roll to your back. Propping himself up on his elbow, he looked down at you. “Ye are so perfect,” he murmured, running his hand down your stomach. You quivered in pleasure and nerves, trying to steel yourself for the unknown. He watched your face for any indication that he should stop, careful to pay attention to you instead of losing himself to desire.

He leaned down, kissing your hips with his soft lips. Feeling brave and euphoric, you parted your legs. His hand fell to your thigh in an instant, caressing it with his strong, protective hands. Your breath was rapid and shallow, small gasps punctuating the silence. He shimmied down, resting his head on your thigh. 

“I’ve dreamt of this,” he muttered. “I want to taste ye, Lass. Will ye let me, please?”

With a deep breath, you nodded, shifting to allow him better access. You had feared that this would feel vulnerable, but instead you felt safe with Dwalin between your legs. He nuzzled against your mound, kissing your folds with such love. You whimpered; head pressed into the pillows. He took it as a sign to keep going, sweeping his tongue over your slit to urge it to part until he could lap at you, touching you in a way you never imagined. 

You felt his tongue drag downwards towards your opening, swirling around it to taste the fluids dripping from you. You moaned, balling the sheets up into tight fists. Your hips rolled forward, trying to get as much contact as possible. His fingers moved to your clit, rubbing to match the movements of his tongue, now dipping inside you to taste you from the source. 

You quaked, shaking beneath him. Your gasps and moans grew louder, hips rocking to get as much contact as possible. Pleasure exploded within you, your fluids coating his tongue with a cry. He lapped hungrily, savouring you as though you were a fine wine. 

You felt boneless, still throbbing from the pleasure he just provided you. He crawled back up, resting his forehead to yours. “Was that what ye wanted?” He asked, sounding just as breathless as you.

You nodded, kissing him, tasting yourself on his lips. “I want more,” you muttered, reaching downwards. He was hard, hot and heavy in your hand. Three curved barbells pierced through the underside of his cock. You gasped, “I didn’t know you had piercings there…”

He groaned as you touched him, hand moving up to the head. Another ring greeted you. You smiled; of course your warrior would have piercings everywhere. You stroked his cock with lazy, slow movements. “Will you...” You started, unsure of how to ask for what you wanted. “Can I feel you inside me?”

He kissed you hard in response, brushing your hand away so he could line himself up with you. You felt ready, needing this. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders. 

He pushed into you with slow, deliberate motions. But you tensed, feeling pain. “Stop,” you muttered. 

He quickly pulled out, studying your face with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts, I can’t,” you felt tears in your eyes. He laid down beside you, pulling you into his arms, stroking your back to soothe you.

“It’s alright, my love,” he murmured in a comforting tone. “I’m so proud of ye for trying. I love ye more than I can ever say.”

Your tears fell onto his shoulder. You felt angry with yourself. You wanted this, but your body refused to cooperate. You didn’t deserve to have his pride; you didn’t deserve to be with him.

“Lass,” he tilted your face up, looking into your eyes. His expression was soft, full of love and devotion to you. “This is our first time; ye can’t expect it all to be perfect. It’ll take time to find each other’s rhythms.” He pressed his forehead to yours again, nuzzling you. 

“Still want to be with you,” you whispered, feeling small. 

“I’ve got an idea. Do ye trust me?”

You nodded.

He nudged you onto your back again, kneeling over you. He pressed his hips to yours so that his cock was pinned between you, resting on your folds but yet not inside of you. You gasped, feeling the weight of him against you. 

“Is this okay, Lass?”

“Yes,” you rocked your hips, spreading your wetness over him. He moaned, thrusting to match you. The head of his cock rubbed against your clit, the piercings teasing your opening. You gasped and writhed in response, upset fading way into pleasure. 

His lips were kissing everywhere he could reach, his hands squeezing your breasts. Your gasps and moaned reached a new intensity, his thrusts firm and fast against you. 

Your hips bucked up in pleasure, shaking as your orgasm took you. Pleasure thrummed through your body, voice crying out his name over and over. His movements grew erratic as he followed you, spilling on your skin. 

Your muscles felt like jelly, unable to move. You felt completely euphoric, clinging onto him. “I love you, I love you,” you kept murmuring, pressing your face into his neck. Tears fell again, but ones of joy. 

“I love ye, too, my beautiful Lass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might do a third chapter to this in the future. I'm not sure yet.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extremely personal piece. The trauma is all based on things I experienced in my childhood and am still struggling with.


End file.
